For those of you who never got the opportunity to meet Sir Denman, you were denied a great opportunity.
Sir Denman was a Southern California Dominant who was like no other I have ever met. He lost his battle with diabetes this past weekend, and he will be missed by many. If I know Sir Denman, he may have lost the battle, but I would bet he fought a good fight until the very end.
What impressed me most was his ability to command respect by being himself. It wasn’t just talk, it was the way he lived his life. If you were in his circle of friends, respect and protocols were always followed regardless of what the situation was.
My first encounter with Sir Denman was when I started the Las Vegas pony group, and had organized a get together. I had twenty four people confirm and twenty of those were from Las Vegas.
The one and only knock I had at my door that night was from a scruffy looking character in leather, and twelve of his closets friends from California. Sir Denman had decided to come, and hoped I was okay with the others he brought along. Apparently there wasn’t much of a discussion when Sir Denman wanted to do something he just did it, and you went along with it.
But, the biggest impact that he had on my education was when several of us from the Vegas scene headed to LA for a weekend of play at the Lair. In a few words, he summed it all up and that moment has stuck with me ever since. And I hope I do the story justice.
In my party was one uncollared submissive with switch tendencies. Something that Sir Denman seemed to scoff at… “Either you are or you aren’t.”
I introduced everyone to Sir Denman, and the uncollared subbie had acknowledged Sir Denman properly. She went on to talk about how she respected him and what he represented. And how she wished she could find a Dom of his caliber in Las Vegas that she could submit to.
She continued to talk about the problems with Doms, the lifestyle scene, and other things. Suddenly Sir Denman stopped her with a comment about her not knowing her place, and disrespecting the protocols she seemed to value so highly.
Her response was to get into Sir Denman’s face and explain that she was not collared to anyone, and he had no say in what she said or how she presented herself to him. That would be for her future owner to decide, until than, this was a conversation between equals…
Sir Denman stepped forward and basically cornered the subbie. In his best tough man voice informed the little missy that if you acknowledge the title, you MUST respect the title holder. You acknowledge the Dominant therefore you respect the person. Regardless of ownership status, you respect the Dominant for who he is. THAT IS Protocol.
In the discussion that followed, Sir Denman made it very clear: Anyone can give themselves the title of Sir or Mistress. It really means nothing until someone acknowledges it for what it is.
If a submissive acknowledges that the person as a true dominant and one that is worthy of the title, than they should give that person the respect and honor that title deserves.
This subbie never said another word, and even asked permission to be dismissed and go to the restroom.
But, that was Sir Denman. Being the Dom wasn’t something he turned on or off at will. He had earned the respect of others through dedication to the lifestyle, honing his craft, and showing others the right way to do things. He was what many here talk about being, and many wished they were.
Some people didn’t like that but, he didn’t have time for those people. He was here to enjoy his life and surround himself with others who did the same.
Sir Denman, You will be missed by us all.
